


Caught By The Light

by emmerrr



Series: Pynch Week 2018 [2]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Pynch Week 2018, Ronan is a Time Lord but he's not the Doctor, Temporary Character Death, i'm going to put you through the ringer but it's going to be fine, kind of, present and past tense both used, time travel is REALLY hard to write about, to quote dean pelton from community:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 18:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15443070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmerrr/pseuds/emmerrr
Summary: [“I think I’ve met you before,” Adam said during that first fateful trip.Ronan shook his head. “No. I’d remember.”Adam’s brow furrowed. “I’m sure it was you. Last year. It was just for a few seconds. Only you looked…I don’t know. Sadder.”Unease trickled through Ronan’s skin, but he shook it off. “Wasn’t me, Parrish.”Of course, in retrospect, Ronan should have taken it as the warning sign it was.]Pynch Week 2018 Days 4+5: Death (in the loosest of terms!) // Time Travel





	Caught By The Light

**Author's Note:**

> don't think too closely about the doctor who elements, they're not that important. this is i guess slightly more stylised than i'd usually write, and i was just exploring ideas in the name of pynch week prompts. i do hope you like it!

Ronan likes to think that under different circumstances, he’d have known exactly what to do.

Before them, in the ground right at the edge of Cabeswater, is a jagged crack filled with a near blinding light.

Ronan knows what it is, because he’s hardwired to know what it is. He’s hardwired to fear this, above everything else.

“Ronan,” Adam asks, and he doesn’t sound anywhere near frightened enough. Opal has the right idea; she’s half hidden behind him, clutching at his t-shirt. “What is that?”

“It’s a rift,” Ronan says, already backing up. “It’s a hole.”

“A rift,” Adam repeats. “A hole.”

“A hole in _time,”_ Ronan says distractedly. “Opal, run to the Ark. Tell Noah to get it ready to leave.”

Opal doesn’t need telling twice, sprinting off as fast as her hooves will take her, and at least she has a sense of urgency. Adam hasn’t moved.

“This is the problem,” Adam says, and Ronan can practically _see_ his brain trying to problem-solve. “This is what’s been causing all the…time issues. All the cracks. This is the source.”

“Probably,” Ronan says, and he tugs on Adam’s arm. He can’t think with Adam so close to it; he needs to get him out, now.

“What’s the plan here, Ronan?” Adam asks. He hasn’t looked away from the rift, like it’s pulling him in.

“Don’t look at it, Adam.” Ronan pulls a little more forcefully on Adam’s arm to try and get him moving towards the Ark.

“I’m serious, Ronan. What do we do?”

 _“We_ don’t do anything. We get the fuck out of here.”

Adam whirls around in shock. “You can’t be serious. What happens if we leave it?”

Ronan shrugs uncomfortably, but the panic’s rising. Yes, this is bad. No, Ronan can’t do anything about it right now. Not with Adam so close. Not with Adam at risk.

“It gets bigger, right?” Adam bulls on.

“Yeah, I guess,” Ronan says at last, and Adam turns back to the rift. It’s hard for Ronan to look at it, he doesn’t know how Adam can stand it. Who knows what it’s showing him? He tugs once more on Adam’s arm. “Adam, stop _looking_ at it. Come on, I’m getting you the hell out of here.”

“We can’t just _leave,_ we need to _fix_ it.”

There’s a whirring sound from behind them; the Ark struggling to power up, which shouldn’t be happening. It should be weeks before they’d have to charge up.

The door opens and Opal’s frightened head pokes out. “The rift!” she yells. “It’s taking power from the Ark! We have to _go!”_

 _“See?_ Thank you!” Ronan says, but he’s almost begging now, and Adam’s feet remain rooted to the ground.

“That thing,” Adam says, shaking his head, “it’ll rip apart time and space, won’t it? If it doesn’t close? It’ll rip apart the goddamn universe.” Finally, _finally,_ he looks Ronan dead in the eyes. “How are we supposed to outrun the end of the world?”

Dread fills Ronan’s entire body. “For as long as we can,” he says desperately, and cups Adam’s face in both hands. He kisses him with everything he has and presses their foreheads together. “Adam, _please._ We need to get out of here.”

The look on Adam’s face is one Ronan will never forget for the rest of his life.

“I know what to do,” he says gently. “And I’m sorry.”

“No.”

“Everything’s going to be okay,” Adam says. “I promise. I love you.” And then he wrenches out of Ronan’s grip and sprints for the rift.

“Adam, _NO!”_ Ronan screams, the force of it tearing at his throat as behind him, from the temporary safety of the Ark, Opal howls in distress.

He lunges after Adam but he’s not fast enough, and Adam dives head-first into the rift. The effect is instantaneous, and the force of it throws Ronan back several feet. His head connects with something hard, and everything goes black.

When he rouses, Opal is leaning over him, sobbing into his chest. His head is throbbing as he painstakingly sits up.

“Where’s Adam, Opal?” he asks, his voice hoarse and laced with pain of every conceivable kind. “Where is he?”

Opal just sobs harder.

Ronan turns his head. The Ark is right where he left it, looking slightly scuffed but otherwise undamaged. That is where the pros list ends.

What was left of Cabeswater is gone. The rift is gone.

Adam is gone.

* * *

 

“I think I’ve met you before,” Adam said during that first fateful trip.

_(“Where do you want to go?” Ronan had asked._

_“As far back as you can take me,” Adam replied, phrased like a challenge, as though he doubted Ronan could really do what he said he could. “I want to see how it all starts.”_

_“Alright,” Ronan said with an easy shrug. “But after that, we go somewhere fun.”)_

Ronan shook his head. “No. I’d remember.”

Adam’s brow furrowed. “I’m sure it was you. Last year. It was just for a few seconds. Only you looked…I don’t know. Sadder.”

Unease trickled through Ronan’s skin, but he shook it off. “Wasn’t me, Parrish.”

Of course, in retrospect, Ronan should have taken it as the warning sign it was.

* * *

 

In his dream, Ronan is drowning.

He’s in a lake, and it’s cold, and his foot’s caught in the weeds that lie at the bottom. He thinks he was looking for something, but he can’t remember what it was.

He’s calm until he’s suddenly not, and he thrashes as he tries to yank himself free, opening his mouth in his panic and inhaling water. Far too much water.

He’d never imagined dying like this.

Just as Ronan’s vision starts to cloud over, there’s a shape in the water swimming towards him, and then there’s nothing at all.

Safe in his bed on the Ark, Ronan wakes up gasping Adam’s name.

It wasn’t a dream, but a memory. A memory of the day he met Adam Parrish.

He wishes Adam had left him to die.

* * *

 

Ronan came to violently at the side of the lake. He rolled to the side as he spluttered up water and was vaguely aware of someone’s hand rubbing his back.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” whoever it was said, and as soon as Ronan had caught his breath, he looked up into the pale blue eyes of a stranger whose expression was part-concern, part-exasperation, part-curiosity.

“I think you just coughed up half the lake,” the stranger continued. “What were you doing in there?”

Ronan ignored him and got to his feet. He patted down his soaking pockets to no avail, and then checked the ground around him, but there was nothing. “No,” he said, panic starting to build in his chest. “No, no, no, _no…”_

“Looking for this?” his savior asked, and Ronan whirled around to see his father’s stopwatch dangling from the man’s hand. He lunged forward and snatched it back.

“You found it.”

 _“You_ found it, the chain was wrapped around your wrist. How did you even lose it way out there?”

“I threw it away,” Ronan said absently, pulling the chain around his neck, the stopwatch settling over his chest. It didn't work anymore, but it belonged to his father, and Ronan didn't want to be parted from it yet.

“Then why did you go in after it?”

“Because I changed my mind. Listen…whoever you are—”

“Adam. Parrish.”

“Parrish,” Ronan said. “Thanks for getting me out of there. Appreciate it. How’d you even find me?”

“I was walking past and just happened to see you dive in. You didn’t surface so I came in after you.”

“My hero,” Ronan deadpanned.

Adam stared, looking poised to making a comment, but then he shivered instead, and it only just occurred to Ronan that Adam was wet too, his hair dripping and his face pale.

“C’mon,” Ronan said, jerking his head for Adam to follow.

He didn’t wait for a response, and after a couple of seconds heard a sigh and then movement as Adam jogged to catch up.

“Where are we going?”

“To get warm, obviously, you wanna catch pneumonia?”

“Hypothermia,” Adam said.

“Huh?”

“You mean hypothermia, not pneumonia.” Adam was properly shivering now, his teeth chattering. He still had the wherewithal to squint at Ronan suspiciously. “How are you not _freezing?”_

“I, uh, run a little warmer than humans do.”

Adam stopped in his tracks. _“What?”_

Up ahead stood the Ark, practically hidden in the undergrowth, its camouflage doing the trick nicely.

Adam did a double-take when he clocked it, and glanced at Ronan warily. “Who _are_ you?” he asked.

“Ronan Lynch.” Ronan pushed the door open and ushered Adam inside. “Warmth now. Questions later.”

 

***

 

“You’re a…Time Lord,” Adam said slowly. He was sitting on a sofa that Ronan had picked up during a brief stop in the 60s, wearing clothes Ronan had lent him while his own were drying, and wrapped in a blanket. He had a steaming mug of hot chocolate cupped between his hands, and his expression was disgruntled as he sounded out the words: _Time Lord._

“Yes,” Ronan replied.

“A Lord of Time.”

“No,” Ronan said, and sighed. “It’s not a _title._ It’s a species.” Adam still looked dubious. “You’re a human, I’m a Time Lord. It’s not that complicated, Parrish.”

Adam arched an eyebrow.

So Ronan gave him a brief run-down: Time Lords were an extraterrestrial species, so named for their time travel technology and non-linear perception of time. Simple.

“So this…ship we’re in—”

“TARDIS,” Ronan corrected. “It’s a TARDIS, and it’s called the Ark.”

“Why the Ark?”

“Because,” Ronan said, the old familiar pain flaring up, “my father used her to save as many of our people as he could during the time war. They dubbed her the Ark, and it stuck.”

 _“You haven’t told him the best bit yet,”_ came a disembodied voice, and Adam jumped, almost spilling his hot chocolate.

“Who was that?”

“That,” Ronan said with a grin, “is Noah.”

 _“Hello,”_ said Noah.

“He’s what, a ghost?”

“Nah. He’s like…a ship’s computer on a sci-fi show, I guess. Oh, no, he’s like J.A.R.V.I.S. from Iron Man.”

Adam bit his lip. “So an A.I. then.”

“Uh huh. He's the auto-pilot.”

“Noah. And the Ark.”

“Get it?”

Adam sighed. “Yes, Ronan, I get it.”

He looked around wonderingly, and Ronan watched him take everything in.

He’d never divulged so much to a human before, not that he’d had all that much contact with humanity, all things considered. He was still young, relatively speaking. The only reason he had the Ark was because he’d taken off in it following his father’s murder. He’d been killed for selling information on the inter-galactic black market. Niall Lynch, a hero and a villain.

Ronan wasn’t coping very well, hence the stealing of the Ark and the running away from home.

Ronan had no doubt Declan could track him down if he wanted to, but so far he hadn’t tried. He must have been really, _really_ mad. Or maybe Aurora had just told him to leave Ronan alone for a while. Whatever the reason, Ronan would take it.

“The Ark,” Adam said finally. “It travels though time?”

Ronan nodded. “And space.”

Adam drained the last of his hot chocolate and placed the mug carefully on the floor in front of him. The he leaned back and crossed his arms, eyes flashing.

 _“Prove_ it.”

* * *

 

In the days that follow the closing of the rift, Ronan’s barely even aware of time passing.

Apart from the initial outpouring of grief in the immediate aftermath, he hasn’t really cried. He knows it’s because it hasn’t really hit him yet, and he’s not sure what will happen when it does.

Opal’s been holding her own sort of vigil in the spot where they lost him, sitting cross legged on the earth before the huge scorch mark burnt across the ground, the only evidence that anything happened there at all.

“I want to go back,” Ronan tells Noah on the third day. He’s managed to coax Opal back inside the Ark, and she sits despondent at his feet.

_“Go back where?”_

“To intercept Adam. To make it so he never meets me.”

Opal’s eyes snap to Ronan’s at that, immediately alert.

 _“You can’t,”_ Noah says, and it shouldn’t be possible for an A.I. to sound so sad.

“This is a time machine,” Ronan snaps bitterly. “I can do whatever the fuck I want.”

“You can’t,” Opal says quietly. “Paradox.”

_“She’s right. This is part of your own fixed timeline now. If you go back to try and change it, you’ll create a paradox. You’ll end up ripping a new hole in the universe, and then Adam will have died for nothing.”_

The words rip right through him; Ronan stumbles to the door and vomits on the ground just outside the Ark.

He doesn’t speak to anyone when he comes back inside, just goes to clean himself up and then heads straight to his room, curling up in his bed.

His pillows still smell like Adam.

* * *

 

Adam, it turned out, was on a post-university gap year, wanting to see a bit more of a world after working and studying for so long before settling down into 'real life'.

Ronan laughed at that and said sarcastically, “Yeah, I’m on a gap year, too.”

Adam had frowned. “How _old_ are you?”

“Eighty-six,” Ronan said. “Why? How old are you?”

“Twenty-five,” Adam said. “I don’t know how I feel about traveling with an old man.”

His tone was teasing, and Ronan smiled. “Okay, smartass, but if we’re talking in relative terms, you’re a little older than me.”

It was meant in jest, but it had a sobering effect on both Adam and Ronan. Adam was human, he would age and die and decay.

Ronan would do all of those things too, of course, but _significantly_ slower.

For a split second, the prospect of having to watch someone’s days dwindle away crossed Ronan’s mind, and then he shook it away.

“You get one trip,” he told Adam. “As a thank you. And then I’m bringing you home.”

 

***

 

One trip turned to two, to three, to four, and on and on and on.

Sometimes they went back, sometimes forward, sometimes to far off planets, and once, accidentally, sideways. Ronan rushed Adam back to the Ark as soon as he realised they’d gone parallel; that wasn’t supposed to be possible, and he wasn’t sure what meeting a parallel version of himself would do to Adam’s psyche.

Adam had taken to it all with a scientific curiosity. He wanted to know how everything in the Ark worked, he wanted to know how Noah worked, and he wanted to know a lot of things about time and space travel that Ronan didn’t necessarily have the answers to.

He himself was often less concerned with the how of it all; it didn’t matter _how_ it worked, it just mattered that it _did._ Adam evidently disagreed, but it made for some enjoyable debates all the same. Ronan liked pushing Adam’s buttons, and apparently Adam liked pushing Ronan’s.

They very quickly lapsed into comfortable familiarity, which had never, _ever_ been part of the plan. Reckless as he was, Ronan knew getting close to Adam was a bad idea.

He told himself that every trip would be the last, and yet every time he managed to find some sort of excuse for it _not_ to be. It was only fair that Adam got to see the past _and_ the future; it was only fair that Adam got to see space; it was only fair that Adam got to see _more_ of space — space was vast, after all, there was a lot to see.

When Ronan had well and truly run out of excuses, he had to admit to himself that it was just because he didn’t want to say goodbye.

It was months before Adam asked to be taken home, and when he did, Ronan tried to convince himself it was for the best. Adam had been given an experience others couldn’t even imagine, and now he had to return to his real life, of which Ronan had no part.

Ronan brought them back to just a couple of hours after they’d first left. Adam was excited, talking about his friends Blue and Gansey. He asked Ronan what he was allowed to tell them.

“Tell them anything you want, Parrish, it’s not like they’ll believe you.”

Adam frowned at that. “Why won’t they believe me?”

“Because as far as they’re concerned, no time has passed at all. Don’t worry, your life is just as you left it.”

Expressions of confusion, understanding, and hurt all crossed Adam’s face at alarming speed.

“Oh,” he said curtly. “You’re dropping me off.”

Ronan blinked. “…Yes? You said you wanted to go home?”

Adam sighed. “To _visit,_ Ronan, I wanted to see my friends, check in, let them know where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing. And then we can go somewhere else. I was not asking you to _leave_ me here.”

“Jesus, Adam, be a bit more fucking specific next time,” Ronan grumbled, hoping the relief that was flooding through his veins wasn’t obvious.

And then Adam had kissed him, and there was no going back from that.

So they had gone to see Adam’s friends, and he’d told them everything with Ronan’s blessing. Gansey had been only too eager to believe, whilst Blue had been the dubious party. A quick journey in the Ark had done wonders to convince her, although they could have done without inadvertently getting caught up in an inter-galactic incident involving a time-traveler con-man from the 51st century called Henry Cheng and the time-authorities.

Still, escaping from time-jail had been fun.

They all traveled together for a little while, the five of them in the Ark, six if you counted Noah. After a while, Henry used his vortex manipulator to return to his own time-ship, and Ronan took Blue and Gansey home.

While Gansey and Adam were saying goodbye, Blue approached Ronan alone.

“Is it always like that? Out there?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Dangerous. Is it always so dangerous?”

“No,” Ronan said honestly. “Not always.”

“But sometimes. Often,” Blue surmised. She had smiled then, a kindness in it that made Ronan nervous, because he knew its intention was to soften her words. “The thing is, Ronan, I understand the appeal. I’ve seen out there now, and it’s addictive. All the worlds out there…it’s no wonder you can’t stay still. It’s hard enough to come home _now,_ and Adam’s been doing it longer. There’s no way he’ll leave you. And I wouldn’t ask him to. It’s just—” she broke off and sighed, choosing her words carefully— “if anything were to happen to him out there — to the both of you — how would we _ever_ know?”

Ronan said nothing, because the answer was that they _wouldn’t,_ and Blue already knew that.

“We’re the waiting now, me and Gansey,” she said sadly. “We’ll forever be waiting for Adam, and every time we see him, we’ll wonder if that’s the last time he’ll ever come home.”

“I can’t make him stay here if he doesn’t want to,” Ronan said around the lump in his throat.

“Oh, I know,” Blue said. “I’m not asking you to abandon him.”

“Then what _are_ you asking?”

“I’m asking you not to forget about us.”

* * *

 

Ronan goes home.

He knows it won’t be a long trip. He can’t stay here; he doesn’t deserve the comfort he’ll be offered. But it isn’t fair for Opal to be dragged down with Ronan in his all-encompassing anger and grief. He can’t take care of himself, let alone anyone else.

As soon as he lands the Ark, Opal looks up at him with accusing eyes. Ronan hasn’t explicitly said, but he knows she’s figured out that when he leaves again, he won’t be bringing her along.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he says, to no avail.

 _“Incoming,”_ Noah says.

“Who?”

_“Matthew.”_

Ronan pushes the door open, and thinks it feels heavier than it used to; everything feels heavier with Adam gone. He steps outside and immediately spots his brother running across the fields towards him.

“I heard the Ark!” Matthew is yelling, laughing as he runs. “I heard you coming!”

Ronan can’t even bring himself to smile. Behind him, he hears the door to the Ark open and close again as Opal follows him out. She sinks into a heap on the grass.

“Opal, get up.”

She doesn’t respond, and Ronan doesn’t bother asking again, just scoops her up into his arms.

“Ronan!" Matthew’s almost to them now, although the tone of his voice has changed. He skids to a halt before them, flushed from running. He looks at Opal, her face buried in Ronan’s neck as she clings to him, and then his gaze drifts up Ronan’s face. Whatever he sees in Ronan’s expression makes all that was left of his smile completely drop off his face.

“Ronan, who’s this? What’s happened? Where’s Adam?”

Opal starts to wail.

 

***

 

“He jumped into the rift?” Declan says, expression more troubled than Ronan’s ever seen it. “And then the rift…disappeared?”

“Yeah. It closed, disappeared, whatever, it’s gone.” He looks between Declan and his mother; they both have a better understanding of the time vortex than he does. “Tell me that it just spat him out again somewhere else. Tell me I can find him, somewhere.” He can hear the ragged grief and desperation in his voice.

Aurora gently takes his hand, and what little spark of hope Ronan had left sputters and goes out. “I’m sorry, Ronan, I’ve never heard of anything like that before.”

He drops his head onto the table and squeezes his eyes shut against the onslaught of unshed tears that are just dying to overflow. “I thought I could save him.”

Softly, Declan says, “If — like you said — the rift is closed, then it’s _gone._ There’s nothing left to save.”

“I’m sorry, Ronan,” Aurora adds quickly. “But he…he saved us all.”

“Nobody fucking asked him to do that!” Ronan snaps, and abruptly, he is so, _so_ angry at Adam. “That wasn’t his job! His job was to fucking live, that’s _all_ he had to do, and now?” Ronan cuts himself off to heave in a breath, because he’s sobbing now, the dam is finally bursting.

He can’t see for tears but it doesn’t matter; he runs outside, his mother and brother calling after him, and he keeps running even though he doesn’t have a destination and he can’t breathe. He’s not sure he’ll ever breathe easy ever again, and it’s all Adam’s fault. How dare he promise Ronan that everything was going to be okay and then sacrifice himself like that? How dare he let Ronan fall in love with him and then just _leave?_

Eventually, without remembering how he got there, Ronan finds himself at the cliff edge, looking out at the sea. He sits and dangles his legs over the edge, and he’s not sure if the salt he can taste is from the sea-spray or from his own tears. It’s possible it’s both.

It’s a while before Declan plops himself down beside Ronan, and it’s a long while after _that_ before Ronan decides to speak to him.

“We kept finding these cracks, almost everywhere we went. Cracks in time. It was nothing monumental, but there would be glitches sometimes, y’know? Tiny, inconsequential events would play on a loop a few times. But then it would straighten itself out again. Adam wanted to figure out what was causing it.”

“So you traced the source,” Declan says.

Ronan nods, a tear dripping off the tip of his nose. “We traced the fucking source.” He sniffs, and wipes ineffectually at his face with the heel of his hand. “I didn’t…I didn’t know what to _do,_ Declan. I’m a Time Lord. There was a time-rift right in front of me and I should have known instantly what to do about that, but it was pulling power from the Ark and Adam was right _there_ and I just wanted to get him _away_  , to keep him safe.”

Declan’s hand lands on Ronan’s shoulder, but he doesn’t say anything.

“I didn’t know what to do,” Ronan repeats. “But Adam did. He said everything was going to be okay. He promised. What does that fucking _mean?”_

Ronan’s never seen his brother look so helpless. “I don’t know, Ronan. You knew him better than I did.”

Ronan picks up a loose rock from the ground beside him and throws it with considerable force. “He wouldn’t break a promise. Not to me. But nothing is o-fucking- _kay.”_

“Maybe he just meant that you’ll be okay _one_ day, y’know? Somewhere down the line,” Declan says delicately.

“I am never going to be okay in a universe without Adam in it.”

There’s a silence, and Declan removes his hand from Ronan’s shoulder. “I know this isn’t helpful, but one way or another, you always would have had to face this eventuality. However it happened — disease, old age, jumping into a fucking time-rift — your days with Adam were always numbered.”

“You’re right,” Ronan snaps, getting to his feet. “That isn’t helpful.” It doesn’t matter that it’s true. Adam still had so much life left to live. _“I_ should have been the one to jump into that rift.”

It’s almost all he can think about. He should have done it immediately. Noah could have gotten Adam and Opal to safety in the Ark, and Adam would have been…fine. He would have lived, and that was the most important thing.

As he walks away, Declan’s voice calls over to him, “Don’t leave, Ronan. Don’t go off on your own again.”

Ronan doesn’t reply. He can’t stay.

 

***

 

At night, he almost thinks he can hear Adam calling his name.

 

* * *

 

 

Ronan had already been up for hours when Adam dragged himself out of bed. He sidled up behind Ronan and pressed his face into the back of his neck.

“Mrnghhh,” he said.

Ronan snorted. “Morning, sunshine.”

A cup of coffee and a shower later, and Adam was considerably more refreshed. “Where are we going today?”

Ronan fiddled with some of the Ark’s controls. “I was thinking of taking you home.”

All the colour drained out of Adam’s face, but his tone was even when he said, “I thought we’d already had this conversation.”

“What? Oh, no, not _your_ home, Parrish. Mine.”

“Really?” Adam asked carefully. He knew that Ronan hadn’t been home since he first ran off with the Ark after his father had died.

“Yeah,” Ronan said with an easy shrug. “You can meet my mom. And Matthew. And…Declan, I guess.”

Adam smiled. “Okay. Sounds like a plan.”

“Noah, plot a course for Singer’s Falls,” Ronan said.

Noah agreeably said, _“Piss up a rope.”_

Ronan burst out laughing and Adam rolled his eyes; Ronan had been teaching Noah to swear to varying degrees of success.

Noah’s outburst aside, they were soon on their way.

“So Singer’s Falls is a planet?” Adam asked.

“A very small planet,” Ronan confirmed. “It’s home to all that’s left of the Time Lords now that Gallifrey’s gone.”

“That was where you were from before?”

“I never lived there. I was born on Singer’s Falls. But it was the home-world of the Time Lords before it got destroyed in the war.”

Adam went quiet, although his hand found Ronan’s and he rubbed his thumb across Ronan’s knuckles. “What does it look like? Singer’s Falls?”

Ronan thought about it and smiled. “It looks a lot like rural Ireland.”

The Ark shuddered to a halt, and Noah said, _“We’re here. Watch your step.”_

Adam frowned as he followed Ronan to the door. “Why do we need to watch our step?”

“Because, Parrish,” Ronan said, reaching back for Adam’s hand as he pushed the door open, “my home is near a cliff, and Noah has decided to park precariously close to the edge of it.”

 _“I couldn’t get closer,”_ Noah said petulantly. _“There’s a TARDIS barrier.”_

“You could have parked on the other side,” Ronan pointed out.

_“Drive yourself next time.”_

Ronan stepped out, pulling Adam along with him. Adam looked out over the cliff edge towards the sea, and then back towards the house, further back and down a slope, sheltered somewhat from the wind. They headed towards it. Ronan didn’t let go of Adam’s hand.

“What’s a TARDIS barrier?”

“It’s a perimeter within which a TARDIS can’t materialise. Stops uninvited Time Lords landing in your living room,” Ronan said. “It also gives you a little bit of a warning when there’s someone coming.”

As if on cue, someone burst out of the front door of the house, barreling towards them with impressive speed.

Adam smiled. “That must be Matthew.”

Ronan grinned, dropped Adam’s hand, and ran towards his little brother.

 

***

 

After the initial shock of Ronan returning home — and not alone — Aurora busied herself cooking up a feast in the kitchen, Matthew took Adam on a sprawling tour of the grounds, and Declan made Ronan take him back to the Ark so he could make sure everything was still working okay.

Ronan stood sullenly in the doorway while Declan ran a mainframe check.

“I have been looking after it, y’know.”

“Congratulations,” Declan said curtly. “Noah still working alright?”

_“Piss up a rope.”_

Ronan grinned. “Noah’s working just fine.”

On the way back to the house, Ronan received the lecture he knew was coming. “You shouldn’t have left like that. You shouldn’t have taken the Ark. You should’ve checked in.”

“I know,” Ronan said. “But I’m here now.”

“For how long?”

“Not long. I’ll have to take Adam back to check in with his friends, and then we’ll go off somewhere else.” He nudged Declan in the side. “But we’ll visit more. I promise.”

Declan sighed. “Adam travelling with you then, that’s a permanent thing?”

“It’s for as long as he wants to,” Ronan said, looking away. Declan’s silence was heavy and Ronan finally glanced back at him. “Alright, bro, spit it out.”

“It’s nothing, man. Just — he’s human, and you’re not. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Ronan already knew all of this and was doing a great job of not thinking about it, so he rolled his eyes. “Thanks for your concern, but we’re just fine.”

“Okay, whatever,” Declan said, holding his hands up in defeat. “I’m just saying.”

“Well _don’t.”_

They were almost to the house now, and Ronan hesitated just before they went inside.

“Are you gonna let me take the Ark when we leave?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Declan said with a shrug. “Reckon it’s yours now anyway.”

 

***

 

Aurora managed to catch Ronan alone after dinner.

“It’s nice to see you smiling again,” she said. “Adam seems lovely.”

“Yeah?” Ronan said. “You approve?”

Aurora’s own smile was tinged with sadness. “You don’t need my approval, you know that. I am…worried, though.”

Ronan frowned. “About what?”

“You. And Adam. I’ve seen the way you look at each other, and I’m happy for you. I am. But sweetheart…he’s human. He’s going to age, and one day, he’s going to die. Are you going to watch him do it?”

The softness of her tone did nothing to shield Ronan from the blow and he reared back away from her. “Not you, too,” he said angrily. “I expected this from Declan, but not from you.”

“Ronan, we only have your best interests at heart, you _have_ to know that.” Aurora reached forward, and Ronan let her put her hand on his arm. “I’m so glad you met Adam, and I’m glad you brought him here to meet us. And I want you to be happy. But it might be kinder — to both of you — if you took him back to Earth and let him get on with his life.”

Ronan shook his head. “We’ve talked about this before. I don’t think he’d go.”

“And you don’t want him to,” she added gently.

“So what if I don’t?” Ronan shrugged and pulled his arms close to his chest in distress. “Look, I know it’s something we’re going to have to address seriously at some point, just…just not yet, okay? We’re fine for now. Okay?”

“Okay, Ronan,” Aurora said, reassuring. “It’s okay. You’re fine.” She kissed him on the cheek and turned to head back inside. “The longer he stays with you, the harder it’s going to be to let him go. Don’t forget that.”

Later that night, lying under the stars on the planet where Ronan was born, Adam told Ronan he loved him for the very first time.

It was already impossible to let him go.

 

* * *

 

He leaves Opal with his family at Singer’s Falls, tells her he’ll see her soon, and then takes the Ark to see Blue and Gansey before he loses his nerve.

Everything about Earth now reminds Ronan of Adam, and it’s torture. Then again, everything in the Ark now reminds Ronan of Adam, too. _Everything_ reminds him of Adam; it’s unbearable.

This is going to be his life now, he thinks. Endless days of thinking about Adam, missing Adam, remembering Adam, wondering what they’d be doing now if Adam were still here. Wondering what Adam would have made of his life.

There’s a constant ache in his chest, like his heart’s not working properly. His eyes are gritty and dry from crying himself to sleep every night. He hasn’t shaved. He _knows_ he looks like shit.

Blue knows what’s happened as soon as she opens the door. She just… _knows,_ and her face crumples immediately as she sinks to the floor in the doorway, bringing Gansey running as she starts to cry.

Explaining to them what has happened feels like losing Adam all over again. Ronan thinks he says he’s sorry; he’s not sure, he can’t quite remember. He knows that he sounds robotic, but he doesn’t know how else to explain without breaking down entirely.

Blue’s rage-fuelled grief is easier to deal with somehow, because it’s a manifestation of how Ronan feels himself. He can take it; it’s what he deserves.

What almost breaks him even more than he’s already broken is Gansey, sitting on the sofa, chewing on his lip and looking utterly, utterly lost.

“I don’t understand,” he says quietly. “You’re a Time Lord. With a time machine. Why can’t you just go back and get him before it happens, and bring him home?”

Ronan closes his eyes, because it sounds so simple put like that and he _wishes,_ with every fibre of his being, that he could do just that. “It doesn’t work like that. It’s a fixed point in my history now — a fixed point in Adam’s timeline. If I go back and do that, I’ll rip apart the fabric of the universe.”

“I don’t understand,” Gansey repeats. “He can’t be gone. He _can’t_ be.”

“I’m sorry,” Ronan says, voice thick with unshed tears. It’s all he has to offer.

 

***

 

_Ronan._

_Ronan._

_RONAN!_

Ronan wakes with a start, his ears ringing. It’s still happening, Adam’s voice in his head.

Maybe he’s being haunted. Maybe he’s going mad. Maybe it’s just the wind howling outside, playing tricks with his mind.

“…Parrish?” he tries tentatively. “Adam?”

But there’s nothing, because Adam is gone.

 

***

 

In the end, Ronan can’t help himself.

He takes himself back to the year before he met Adam, when he knows Adam was still at university. He tells himself it’ll just be once, he just needs a glimpse of Adam alive and well, and that’ll be enough.

He just needs to _see_ him, one more time.

Ronan lingers in the university library all day, grabbing a book at random off the shelf so as not to look suspicious. He’s not entirely sure it works, but no one bothers him at least.

He waits for hours, and just when he thinks that Adam’s not going to show, he spots a familiar figure walking in with an armful of books he must be returning.

Adam looks tired and stressed, because he’s no doubt been working and studying all hours and fitting in limited time for sleep, because he’s _Adam._

He’s so _Adam_ and he’s _here_ and he’s _alive_ and Ronan can’t bear it. This was a mistake, this only makes it harder—

He gets up abruptly — too abruptly; he knocks the book he’d grabbed onto the floor — and hurriedly starts making his way to the exit.

He’s almost there when someone grabs his arm, and Ronan turns on instinct.

“Hey,” Adam says, holding out the book. “You dropped this. Do you need to go check it out?”

Momentarily frozen, Ronan can do nothing but memorise Adam’s face. The urge to reach out is near overwhelming, and Ronan feels like his skin is burning where Adam — so close to being _his_ Adam — still lightly holds his arm.

Adam frowns. “Are you okay?”

The spell breaks; Ronan yanks his arm away. “I don’t need it,” he says gruffly, and all but runs from the library.

 

* * *

 

Adam had been traveling with Ronan for a little over a year when they first started to notice the cracks in time.

At first, Ronan brushed them off as anomalies, and Adam let him. At least for a little while.

The cracks became frequent, almost like they were following Ronan and Adam everywhere they went. There was no discernible pattern to them; they were happening in any time period, in any worlds, with no rhyme or reason. It was happening too often for Ronan to comfortably be able to call it a coincidence, and Adam had never even thought it had been from the start.

“Something’s wrong,” he told Ronan. “Can’t you feel it?”

He could. He knew Adam was right.

“I think it’s us,” Adam said. “We’re the common denominators. We’re doing it somehow.”

“We can’t be.”

“We went to that parallel universe once. You said we shouldn’t be able to do that.”

“We shouldn’t. It’s not like we stayed long, Parrish, I got you out of there as soon as I realised where we were.”

“I know that. But maybe we did something, accidentally, to the…space-time continuum or something. Maybe that’s what’s causing all of this.”

“How would we even find that out?” Ronan asked, frustrated. Adam was making an uncomfortable amount of sense.

“I don’t know. You know more about this stuff than I do. How do the TARDISes even travel through time?”

Ronan didn’t quite know how to explain it in a way that would satisfy Adam’s thirst for knowledge.

“It’s…energy. It’s _time_ energy. I don’t know, Adam, it just _works.”_

Adam frowned. “Okay,” he said, clearly not pleased at the lack of clarity. “But these cracks, if it _is_ us, then we should fix it, if we can. Do you think we can trace the source?”

Ronan sighed heavily. “We can try.”

 

***

 

It had taken a while, but eventually Noah managed to increase the Ark’s sensory systems and locked onto a planet that seemed to be…absorbing, for want of a better word, an inordinate amount of energy.

“You think that’s the source?” Adam asked.

“I think that’s the strongest lead we have.”

Ronan had been trying to ignore the sense of impending doom he felt about the whole situation. Apart from the few scrapes they’d gotten into, their lives had never actually been in any real danger since Ronan had had Adam in tow. Now they were heading quite literally into the unknown. Ronan had no idea if he was equipped to deal with whatever they’d find.

It was a strange place they found themselves in.

It was a forest, but it was dying, consumed by some as yet unseen threat. There was no sign of life anywhere, and they stayed near the Ark for the first day they were there, scanning the immediate area.

In the morning when they stepped out of the Ark, they were no longer alone.

What appeared to be a little girl was standing right outside, waiting for them.

“Have you come to help?” she asked.

Adam took a step forward and sunk down on one knee to look her in the eye. “Yes,” he said.

Her name was Opal, and she wasn’t human. She had the look of a faun — no, a satyr — and she seemed to be the guardian of the forest. Cabeswater, she called it.

“Opal, where is everyone?” Adam asked. “Why are you alone?”

“Gone,” she said. “All gone. It’s just me now.”

“How long have you been here on your own?” Ronan said.

“I don’t know,” she replied. Ronan got the feeling she didn’t mark time like they did on Earth. Perhaps she was something more like him, like a Time Lord. Destined to be ancient, barely touched by time.

“You’re not really a child are you,” he said. “This is just how you are.”

Adam shot Ronan a shocked look.

“This is how I am,” Opal confirmed.

They asked Opal to show them around, but she seemed skittish about going back into the forest, saying that it wasn’t safe. So instead they remained at the Ark, Opal running around in awe and chatting to Noah and eating anything she could get her hands on without much concern to what it was.

She grew quickly attached to both Adam and Ronan in different ways. She was childlike and feral, ancient and wise in equal terms. It was a little disorienting.

“Whatever happens here,” Adam told Ronan, “we’re taking her with us when we leave.”

On that, they were in complete agreement.

When they had been there for almost a week, Adam took Opal’s hand and asked her to take them into the forest so they could see the problem for themselves.

“It isn’t safe,” Opal repeated miserably.

“I know,” Adam said gently. “But maybe we can help. Maybe we can fix it.”

In the end, they moved closer in the Ark, so that they could make a quick getaway if necessary. As soon as they opened the door, Ronan could feel it.

Power, leeching out of his skin, like it was pulling him forward.

“I don’t like this,” he said, and Opal whimpered her agreement.

Still, they stepped outside, and walked just a little way forward before they saw it. They were at the edge of the forest, and it was dying.

“What’s causing it, Opal?” Adam said.

“The light,” she said, and frowned. “…Time. It’s…decaying.”

“The light?” Adam asked, but then they all stopped, because _there_ it was.

It shouldn’t have existed; a crack in the universe, filled with a white light. It hurt to look at.

Ronan’s blood ran cold.

“Ronan,” Adam said calmly, even as Opal began to hide herself behind him. “What is it?”

“It’s a rift,” Ronan said, disbelieving even though he was looking straight at it. He backed up a step. “It’s a hole.”

 

* * *

 

Ronan tells Noah to get the Ark to take him somewhere. He doesn’t care when or where, as long as there’s no people around.

He looks outside once when they arrive just to confirm that he really is alone, and he seems to be on some sort of moon. Which moon, he’s not sure, but it’ll do.

He holes himself up in his bedroom and just…wallows in despair.

He’s not sure how long he’s been there when he hears a distinctive knock on the door of the Ark. He heads out into the mainframe area. “Noah, what the fuck. Did we get hit by something?”

_“You have a visitor.”_

“A visitor? I’m on a fucking moon, Noah. What _was_ that?”

_“Open the door.”_

Noah wouldn’t be cryptic without a reason, so Ronan opens the door. Safe inside the Ark’s protective perimeter stands Henry Cheng in a space-suit, holding a helmet at his side and looking uncharacteristically serious.

“You,” he says, pushing past Ronan and into the Ark, “are a bitch and a half to find, Ronan Lynch.”

 

***

 

“I’ve been looking for you for two months,” Henry tells him. “You look like shit, by the way.”

“Yeah, I know. You’ve found me. What do you want?”

Henry slams his coffee mug down on the table, and it’s just occurring to Ronan that he’s fucking _furious._ “Why didn’t you tell me about Adam?”

“I didn’t know how to find you,” Ronan says honestly, but he doesn’t want to talk about Adam, he doesn’t want to explain again, it’s too much. It’s too _hard._ “You’re not easy to find yourself.”

“Bullshit, you didn’t even try.”

“Well, fuck, Cheng, you got me. How did you even  _hear_  about it?”

“I went to visit Blue and Gansey, they told me everything. They told me about the cracks, the rift, Adam, _everything.”_

Ronan’s struggling to follow. “So you know now. So why are you _here?”_ It can’t be as simple as Henry just wanting to pay his respects. He’d know Ronan would need more time for that.

“I’m here to help, obviously.” Henry looks confused now, and Ronan’s wondering if they’re having two separate conversations.

“Help with  _what?"_

“Help get Adam back. And then to close the rift properly.”

“What do you _mean_ get Adam back? He’s dead! The rift’s closed! Adam _closed_ it!” He’s angry now. He’s exhausted by grief and lack of sleep and he’s barely been eating and he doesn’t need Henry showing up out of the blue and talking complete and utter bullshit.

Very, very carefully, Henry says, “No, he didn’t. And he’s not dead.”

Ronan doesn’t want the hope. He can’t bear it. And yet there it is, flickering back to life inside of him. He begins to furiously pace across the Ark floor, running his hands over his head in agitation. “Fucking _stop._ I saw it, Cheng. I _saw_ it happen.”

 _“Think,_ Ronan. _What_ did you see?”

“I saw Adam jump into the rift, and then it fucking… _exploded,_ and then it disappeared. He’s _gone.”_

“Gone, yes, but not dead. He’s stuck.”

Ronan stops pacing. “Stuck?”

“Maybe that’s not the right word…” Henry looks skyward, searching, and then gestures vaguely. “He’s _lost.”_

Ronan’s heart leaps into his throat. “Lost _where?”_

“In time. In the rift.”

Ronan shakes his head. “Adam closed the rift,” he repeats, because if Adam _didn’t_ close the rift, then what was this all for?

“He didn’t. He just…kept it quiet for a while? Uh…think of it as like an alarm clock. Adam pressed snooze.”

“Henry.” Ronan sits down again. “Even if what you’re saying is true, how do you even _know_ all this?”

“Because I’m a time traveller, Ronan. And if the rift were properly closed, the cracks would have stopped. There’s cracks all over time and space. Haven’t you noticed anything?”

“I’ve been sort of off-grid,” Ronan admits, searching his memory. But the last few weeks are nothing but a pit of misery.

“Anything weird at _all?”_ Henry pushes.

And then it hits Ronan. “A voice,” he says, sitting bolt upright. “I’ve been hearing Adam’s voice, saying my name.” He looks at Henry, stricken. “I thought I was imagining it. Are you telling me that’s _real?”_

“I _told_ you, Ronan. It’s on snooze!”

Ronan takes Henry’s analogy and runs with it. “If it’s on snooze, then sooner or later, the alarm’s going to go off again.” Henry nods. “What happens when it does?”

“Oh, you know,” Henry says airily. “End of the universe?”

 

***

 

The stakes, admittedly, are high.

But for Ronan, they’re personal. Because Adam is alive, and he’s somewhere in that rift, and as soon as it opens, Ronan is getting him out.

“It won’t open in the same place again,” Henry says. He’s in the Ark now; they’ve left his ship on the moon and are travelling back through the vortex together. If everything goes to plan, they can just drop him back off at his ship later. If not…well, the world will end anyway. It doesn’t seem to matter.

“Why not?”

“I think that because of Adam, it’s connected to him — and by proxy, to you — somehow. I think it’ll materialise somewhere that has meaning to both of you.” He fixes Ronan with a look. “Any ideas?”

It could be anywhere. So many memories, so many important places. How do you pick the most important _one?_

But of course, when Ronan really thinks about it, there’s only one place it _could_ be. The place where it all started.

At the lake where he nearly drowned.

 

***

 

There’s nothing there when they arrive. No rift, yet. But Ronan can feel the energy of it buzzing underneath his skin.

“It won’t be long,” he tells Henry.

Two days later, after the buzzing has intensified to an almost painful degree, the sky erupts with light as the rift once again makes itself known.

While they’ve been waiting, Ronan and Henry have fashioned a rope, which they’ve tied to the Ark. As soon as the rift appears, they tie the other end around Ronan. Henry’s job is to keep the Ark grounded at all costs, and to cut the rope if the rift tries to pull it in.

Admittedly, it’s not a _great_ plan.

“How do we know the rift won’t just close as soon as you go in there?” Henry asks, not for the first time.

“We don’t,” Ronan admits. “But I don’t think it’ll close while there’s a connection to an outside energy source.”

“Which is the Ark?”

“Exactly. It’ll want the Ark’s time-energy, so it won’t close if it thinks it can _absorb_ that energy, which you are absolutely not allowed to let it do,” Ronan says firmly. “Remember, if the Ark moves even an inch towards that rift, you cut the rope and let it close, whether me and Adam are still in there or not.”

“I don’t like this,” Henry says miserably.

 _“I don’t like it either,”_ adds Noah.

“You guys are gonna do great,” Ronan says, ruffling Henry’s hair, much to his chagrin.

There’s no time left to lose; Ronan checks the rope is secure and sprints for the rift. It’s easy, it wants Ronan, and it’s so _obvious_ now.

Time-energy. Adam figured it out. Being in the Ark all that time, Adam had absorbed more than his fair share of the stuff, but it wasn’t enough. He was too human to hold it for long.

But Ronan’s a Time Lord. He’s _made_ of the stuff.

Adam just knew Ronan needed a little longer to figure it out on his own. (Admittedly with a considerable amount of help from Henry.)

Ronan shuts his eyes as he jumps into the rift, feeling the fear but leaning into it. He waits for the rope to go slack, but it doesn’t, and he opens his eyes.

The rift is still open, and Ronan is inside.

“Adam?” he yells. “Adam, where are you?”

He looks around to the left and the right, but it’s so bright, it’s too fucking bright in here. And then he hears it.

It’s his name, over and over again, like a mantra, and he follows it to its source.

There Adam is, sitting down on…well, _nothing,_ there’s nothing here. His knees are pulled up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them, his face pressed into his knees.

“Adam,” Ronan breathes, and Adam looks up, disbelieving and hope flashing in his eyes.

But they’re Adam’s eyes, it’s Adam, it’s _his_ Adam. Not dead.

Alive, alive, alive.

“You figured it out,” Adam says, so quietly Ronan barely hears him. “You found me.”

Ronan wraps his arms around him and kisses his temple, his cheeks, the tip of his nose. He thinks he's crying. “I’ll always find you, you complete and utter _shitbag.”_

There it is, the ghost of a smile, and Ronan pulls Adam to his feet and drags him to the rift opening.

“We still need to close it.”

“It’s okay,” Ronan says. “I know what to do.” He pushes Adam out of the rift, into the shallows of the lake.

Adam splutters indignantly but then looks up at Ronan from the other side of the rift, horror dawning on his face. “…Ronan?”

“Everything’s going to be okay,” he says. “I promise. I love you.”

He turns his back on Adam and steps closer inside the rift. He can already feel it starting to close behind him. He spreads his arms wide.

“You want time-energy?” he yells. “I’m a Time Lord. Take mine. Take all of it!”

Because it’s a hole, caused by a lack of time-energy. All it needs is to be filled.

Ronan feels the moment the rift locks onto him specifically; he feels the energy start to drain out of him.

It hurts, but that’s okay. Adam is safe. It’s been a good life.

He closes his eyes.

 

***

 

Everything hurts, which is annoying, because Ronan rather thought that being dead might mean pain isn’t something he has to deal with anymore.

He groans, and immediately feels a hand — wonderfully cool and oh so familiar — press against his forehead.

“Ronan?” says Adam desperately. “Ronan, wake up.”

He opens his eyes. It’s bright, and for a split second he thinks he’s still in the rift, but then his eyes adjust and the shape of Adam’s tired and concerned face comes into view.

Ronan smiles dopily. “Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”

Adam drops his head down onto Ronan’s chest, exhaling shakily. “I thought you were dead. You _asshole._ I thought you were dead.”

“Then I guess we’re fucking even, aren’t we, Parrish?” Ronan says, although, honestly, _he_ thought he was dead, too. He feels like he should be. And he certainly _feels_ like death.

Slowly, and with Adam’s help, he sits up. He peers around the room they’re in, but he doesn’t recognise it. “Where are we?”

“We’re on Henry’s ship. He has a medi-pod, and you didn’t look so good once we got you out of there.”

“Back up. What happened?”

“The rift started to close when you were still inside,” Adam says, his voice shaking with the memory of it. “It had stopped pulling at everything else on the outside, and it was more like it was…imploding, instead. It was focusing on you and nothing else. But you still had the rope tied around your waist and at the last second before it closed entirely, we just pulled you out.”

Ronan’s head is pounding, and he dreads the answer, but he has to ask. “But…the rift. Is it still open?”

Adam shakes his head. “It’s gone. We think…we think for good this time. Henry’s been in touch with people all over, across time and space, and no one’s reported any time-cracks.”

“So it just…vanished? It let me go?”

“We think it didn’t need you anymore. You gave it enough energy to close itself. It’s gone.”

This seems like good news, so Ronan doesn’t understand why Adam looks so stricken. “What is it?”

Adam takes Ronan’s hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know it would happen.”

“Adam. What?” Ronan asks gently, running a thumb across his cheek. What a miraculous creature Adam Parrish is. Alive and talking, against all the odds.

“Henry ran scans on you while you were in the medi-pod, to check the damage. And the rift…it didn’t just drain your time-energy. It drained your life-force.”

“I’m dying, then,” Ronan says easily. It’s not such a surprise, after all. “How long do I have?”

“It’s hard to say, exactly. From what we can tell,” Adam bites his lip nervously, “we think you’re like a human now. You’ll age at a rate similar to me. Fingers crossed, you’ll still die of old-age, it just won’t be old in Time Lord terms. I’m sorry, Ronan.”

Ronan struggles to pin-point an appropriate emotion. At some point, he’ll have to go home and tell his family that he won’t live anywhere near as long as they well, which sounds like one hell of a shitty conversation.

But on the other hand, the thing he fears the most — watching Adam age and die while Ronan is powerless to do anything, and powerless to join him — has just been taken out of the equation.

They get to live normal, human lives, together. He doesn’t have to let Adam go. He gets to be a part of that life, and not just a chapter in the book.

There are far, _far_ worse death sentences to receive.

“Ronan?” Adam says anxiously.

Ronan leans in and kisses him, because he’s waited long enough.

“How do you feel?” Adam says when he pulls away.

“Good. Bad. I don’t know. Is it always this confusing, being human?”

Adam laughs, relieved, and wraps his arms around Ronan’s neck. “Yes. Fuck. Always.”

A knock at the door sounds, and in walks Henry, dressed in his finest and sporting a humongous grin.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, sleeping beauty,” he says.

Ronan gets to his feet and gives Henry a hug. “You,” he says when he lets his surprised friend go, “are an absolute life-saver. I owe you a favour.”

“Oh, Lynch,” Henry says. “You owe me at _least_ three.”

“Fair enough,” Ronan says with a sharp laugh. “Three it is.”

 

***

 

They stay with Henry a couple more days, and then Ronan’s well enough to move back over to the Ark.

They’re still on that same moon, and they stay there for a little longer on their own so that Ronan can get his strength back a little more. He’s just glad to have Adam near again. The whole thing’s already starting to feel like a distant nightmare, but Ronan knows he’ll never forget what it felt like to live with the apparent knowledge that Adam was dead.

He tells Adam he loves him, often.

Adam seems to be struggling with Ronan’s new shortened lifespan more than Ronan is.

“I can’t believe you did that for me,” he says, shaking his head. “I’m not worth it.”

Ronan silences him with a kiss. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat. You are worth _everything_ to me.”

Somewhat reassured, Adam grins. “Hey. You’re stuck with me now.”

“Parrish,” Ronan says, meaning every single word. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

By the time Ronan is recovered well enough to leave, they decide to go to Earth first. Blue and Gansey have already been sent word that Adam is okay, but they deserve to see him for themselves.

Ronan knows that after that they’ll need to go back to Singer’s Falls. They need to see Opal, and Ronan needs to sit his family down and tell them everything that’s happened.

They’re going to be hurt, and it’s going to be heart-wrenchingly sad to have to put them through it, and Ronan isn’t looking forward to it one bit. But they _do_ still have plenty of time, even if their perceptions of said time are no longer quite the same.

For now, however, Noah navigates the Ark to a side street around the corner from Blue and Gansey’s place.

As they step outside into the bright sunshine, Ronan turns to Adam. “It’s a really good thing you’re not dead, Parrish.”

Adam smiles, gently amused. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because Blue is probably going to _kill_ you.”

**Author's Note:**

> hoping to get at least one more pynch week fic up, possibly on saturday. need to get an adam pov in i think :)


End file.
